Venting, Whining, and Ranting: Dealing with Frustration at Work

Today I'd like to poke a little bit at the idea that "venting" is a healthy workplace behavior.  Most of us have "vented" to a coworker from time to time - and I'm certainly no exception.   When frustrations rise and there seems to be no sanctioned place to release them, pulling a friend at work aside and waxing eloquent on the (perceived) stupidity of the latest management fad can release some of the pressure.  But is it productive over the long term?

I've observed in my employee relations work that whenever morale is low and employee behavior is on the fritz, there tends to be a lot of "venting" going on.  People take out their frustrations by whining, complaining, or even making rude comments about other people. 

On the one hand, it is easy to wonder what is at all wrong with this kind of behavior.  I know personally that when I'm feeling down, talking to a trusted friend about my feelings can be the best way to move on.  There is something soothing about self-disclosure.  That is why so many conversations between good friends begin with the statement "I just need to bitch for a few minutes."  or "I need to get this off my chest."

"Off my chest."  - Our frustrations can weigh heavily on us.  Unrelieved, they can impact our productivity, our happiness, even our health.  So what is wrong with whining, venting, or ranting?

Here are some problems with these behaviors:

They reduce productivity and morale.   When we whine at work, we are not working.  Even beyond this, it is possible to create a culture of frustration in an organization.  When "venting" becomes a widely accepted form of communication, it can multiply - further reducing productive time and negatively impacting morale.

They don't result in positive change.   When we rant to a coworker about a topic of frustration, the rant usually doesn't involve any way of reducing the source of that frustration.  We feel temporary release, but the underlying causes don't change.  In short, energy spent on whining is usually wasted energy.

They damage relationships.  Whining, venting, and ranting often involve personal attacks on people inside our organizations.  It would be foolish to believe that we can call that annoying coworker a "mental midget" (for example) in the course of a rant, and then expect those kinds of statements to go unnoticed.  When relationships at work are damaged, we become less effective in our teams.  Trust goes down, and we spent more time assessing each other's motives than we do making positive strides forward.

If whining, ranting and venting are harmful, how can we manage our teams to reduce those behaviors?

Walk the Talk   Setting a good example starts with refusing to engage in these behaviors yourself.  If you need a friend to listen to you vent about work, find a friend who is unconnected to your job.  Keep it isolated.  Additionally, if you are with someone and they begin to vent, remove yourself from the situation.  Don't be a complacent partner.

Enhance Communication Skills   If ranting, whining, and venting are *not* good ways to create positive action, what is?  A good way to address the frustrations at work is to teach your employees how to communicate clearly and honestly about their needs.  This can be achieved by creating a team culture where effective communication behaviors including productive feedback methods have been adopted.

Assess the Situation   If you are in a situation where whining seems out of control, a good technique is to "clear the air" by collecting employee opinions in an open and systematic way.  Telling employees to "stop whining" isn't usually effective.  Telling them that you'll be asking them what needs to be better and then acting on that feedback removes any justification they may feel for whining or complaining.  A satisfaction survey, listening campaign, or series of focus groups are all options for getting this started.

Your goal, should you choose to accept it, is to create a culture within your team where if someone begins to whine that the other team members respond with a version of the following: "So, if that is bugging you - what are you going to do about it?  Make a recommendation for fixing it or be quiet, but in any case I'm not going to listen to you gripe when I have work do to!"

It takes time, but creating this kind of culture is very possible.  Many organizations already have it.  As a process, it might go:

1. Walk the Talk - clear up your own behavior first.
2. Clear the Air - if things are bad, address the major issues now.
3. Build Communication Skills - give your team the tools to succeed.
4. Monitor and continue to model good behavior.

Helping teams create this kind of culture is one of my favorite aspects of my consulting practice.  If you'd like to read more about my approach - click here.

Enlightened Homework:  If you're working on "Walking the Talk" - take some baby steps this week.  Make a commitment to not talk about other people when they are not in the room.  Note where you usually "vent" at work, and think about how you can start to extract yourself from those conversations.  At the end of the week, make some notes about what this was like, and what you noticed.

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Comments

[Prasad Kurian]

Interesting !

Your approach is very logical. However that itself might be a problem in this context. I feel that you assume too much rationality on the part of the employees (and possibly from human beings in general !!!). The 'whining and ranting' that you are mentioning are often a 'natural' part of the 'psychological transition process' that arises in response to a 'change'. If we examine any model of transition, we are likely to find something similar to 'denial-anger-bargaining-depression-acceptance' as necessary (sequential) steps. Often this 'whining and ranting' (especially if it is against the 'organization/system' or at an individual who symbolizes the 'organization/ system') is part of the 'progress' from the 'denial' stage. Of course it is unhealthy and unproductive to overdo this or to get stuck at this stage. So another approach could be to allow (or even facilitate) the 'mourning' to happen fully and quickly and then help the person(s) to move into the problem solving mode. Of course this is a tricky process and it is easier said than done !

[Cheri]

Hi Prasad,

I agree that this behavior can be part of resistance to change - and also that facilitation can be very productive. That is why I think the "clearing the air" 'to deal with the issues behind the behavior can be so important. Mourning can certainly be part of that.

:)

[Gunner Rotter]

I am one of 5 managers at work. I am in charge of one part of the company and the others in charge of theirs. There is one manager that all he does is whine, tattle tail, always blaming and if you approach him about anything to do with his department (very simple things) he gets defensive asap. I have been a manager for about 10 years and have never had to deal with someone like this. The president of the company has said he was tired of this also. All the other managers get along with each other except this one.

Example: His employee hit a garage door because he had the material to high. I told him and he said the garage door was to low and it should not have been and why was it to low who put it that low. Of course in was on my side of the company. After it was all said and done he is still complaining about the garage door.

What the heck can i do. It is so frusteration that I rarley have any conversations with him. Its come to the point that his attitued is effecting his employees and making them think they are better than the other departments.

Please if you can answer i would so much appreciate it. Thanks Gunner

[Cheri]

Gunner - please see the comments I sent you over email.

[Estelle]

I own a restaurant and I have one employee that whines all the time. He feels he is the only one that does anything right and nobody does more than him. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to talk to him. It's got to the point where I just want to fire him. I dread his phone calls and any communication with him. Some people can't be helped through humor or reasoning.

[Steel Magnolia]

Don't vent at work. Don't say anything to your co-workers that you wouldn't want repeated. Don't blog or send personal emails from your office computer as these can be traced back to you. Don't say anything in a work-related email that you wouldn't want the company CEO to read. Trust no one. Document anything of concern, but not on your office computer. Always keep your resume updated. If I sound paranoid, it's because I've had over 20 years in the workforce, in both public and private sector. I know what can happen when you say the wrong thing to the wrong person and it backfires on you. I've seen people demeaned, demoted, and downsized, all because they couldn't keep their mouths shut. Venting in the office marks you as a troublemaker and no one will ever perceive you any differently.

[tempered]

Fully agree with you Steel, I've seen this happen too. What you've said truly is a golden rule. I vent to God alone and let Him have full control. I've seen positive change!! It really works!!!

[Frustrated]

I work as a senior manager for a large company that has grown rapidly recently. The growth has been particularly badly planned. Employees are disatisfied, myself included. The company directors still try to think small and have really outgrown their usefulness. How can one vent frustration in a situation like this? Answer is simply you can't. It's an inevitable fact the company will implode on itself at some point in the near future and the same directors that made the catachlysmic mistakes will most likely still be at the top. Fortunately I will not be there to see it as I will have not moaned, will have a good reference and will have moved on before it's too late.
Thanks for listening, I feel better already.

[Cheri]

Sorry to hear about that situation - it sounds terrible!