As leaders, our accountability is a core strength. Saying what we are going to do, and then doing it, is what builds trust and confidence in our teams. Our integrity, perhaps even our sense of honor is tied up in delivering upon what we say we will.
But I think that accountability has a dark side. For some of us (and I put myself in this category), accountability means feeling responsible for things which are really outside of our control. This kind of thinking can lead to a lot of stress, not to mention the irrational feeling that every bump in the road is somehow our fault.
I have a tendency to feel accountable for too many things in my life. When my husband is annoyed for example, I want to immediately jump to a feeling of "how can I fix this" even when the annoyance has nothing to do with me or what I can do. Over time I've gradually let this crazy-making behavior go, but I still find myself being accountable for things that are outside my sphere of influence when it comes to work.
A lot of the work that I do has to do with behavior change. Managers wanting to change employee behavior. Teams want to change the work climate. And when I walk into these situations I always make it clear that while I can provide tools and practice, ultimately each individual will take up the call or not. People will begin giving feedback directly or not. People will listen before jumping to conclusions or not.
This is difficult for me. When I walk into a client organization and they trust me with their time and resources, I want to offer them guarantees. I want to erase those lines of worry off of corporate foreheads. I want to be fully accountable for those outcomes. I can't be.
Here is the trick though. Such thinking is unreasonable. When I see a manager get frustrated with the pace of change, my role is to acknowledge the reality of that frustration and to encourage the ongoing behaviors that will gradually make change reality. I need to know that when I've done my part as best as it can be done, I am free to walk away with my head up, even leaving those struggles behind. You can give people tools to forge a difficult path, but ultimately you can't walk that path for them. Nor should you!
It is one thing to say this. It is an entirely different thing to feel it. I'm still working on the latter.
Thoughts?
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