The Enlightened Manager

Facilitation 101: Empowering Groups to Make a Difference

Today's post is about facilitation.  It's a subject I've been thinking a lot about lately, probably in part because I've been a part of some really outstanding meetings and some really bad ones.  The difference between the former and the latter had a lot to do with facilitation (or the lack thereof). Today I'll cover some of the basics of facilitation and offer a few resources for further exploration.

What is a facilitator?

A facilitator is someone who "holds the process" during a meeting or event.  You might say that a facilitator "runs" the meeting, but that can be deceptive because in many cases the facilitator is NOT the manager.  A facilitator can be internal or external, and they can be in any role in your company, from CEO to receptionist to an outside consultant. A faclitator is the person who manages the meeting/event itself.

What do facilitators do?

• They keep the meeting or event "on track" towards the purpose or agenda.
• They work to ensure that there is a balance of voices in the room, that the discussion is not overpowered by a few strong voices.
• They listen actively to both *what* is being said and *how* it is being said, to air unspoken areas of concern and also to clarify points of agreement.
• They often help the group set norms (ground rules) and act as "referee" to check in if the group is deviating from those norms.
• They often clarify decision-making methods, and aid the group in creating shared accountability and buy-in.
• They step in to help resolve conflicts of ideas or personality, or they may choose to let those conflicts work themselves on their own.

What knowledge and/or skills are required?

• An understanding of group dynamics and the stages of group development.

• An ability to communicate clearly, boldly, and with compassion.

• Superb listening skills, and an ability to take the emotional temperature of a room.

• A commitment to honesty and respect for every person in the room.

• A willingness to step in when a norm has been crossed, even when that may be difficult.

• A willingness to challenge the group, and to be challenged in return.

• An ability to summarize, identify points of agreement and disagreement, and to ask challenging questions.

• A fluency with the language of facilitation, often consisting of transitional phrases, deeper questions, and tactful redirections.

So why does facilitation matter?  Simply because when people come together around an issue, the stakes are almost always high.  There is the potential for great collaboration, but also the potential for hurt feelings, disengagement, and dispiritedness.  Will progress be made?  Will people speak with clarity and honesty?  Will ideas translate into action?  A good facilitator can help you find a "yes" answer to these questions.

I'm almost laughing as I write this post today.  When I first started consulting, I thought of my coaching and team development work as the "real" work of workforce development.  Facilitation felt pretty peripheral.  But the more facilitation I do, the more I realize the profound impact it can have for the better in an organization, both in terms of results and fostering good relationships.   Good management *is* good facilitation.  Leaders are focusing less on isolated decision making, and more on empowering others to make great shared decisions.  The heart of facilitation is helping others achieve great results - and isn't that the heart of leadership as well?

If you'd like to learn more about facilitation, I recommend following books:

The Skilled Facilitatorby Roger Schwarz
The Art of Facilitation by Dale Hunter, Anne Bailey, and Bill Taylor

Or if you're looking for some hands on assistance, you can also invite me into your organization to teach a workshop or do some work with your management team on Facilitation Skills.

Hope you found this post helpful. Do you have any resources or ideas to add?  Leave a comment and share your wisdom with the rest of our readers.

Learning Through Trauma: Reflections on Group Dynamics

There is this consultant that I know named DonYeta and she has this great saying about learning in organizations.  She calls it "learning through trauma" which is kind of a leadership version of "no pain, no gain."  When we experience pain in teams, there is typically something to learn.

And boy, was I learning over the weekend!

I was at a leadership retreat, a participant this time, and during one group activity I felt completely lost.  Here is the events as I saw them:

1) I was in a group that was assigned a task.
2) The group agreed (I thought) to set aside 10 minutes to discuss our desired outcomes for the task before moving into action.
3) About one minute later, one group member began describing her vision for completing the task.
4) For the next ten minutes, a rather chaotic discussion ensued where people added additional elements to the initial vision, our plan seemed to change moment by moment, and it was unclear at any point what decisions had actually been reached.  Every time I assimilated one idea, someone else had added another, or subtracted one, or ....
5) A couple group members broke off and started working on a side-project to augment the task.  They came around a few minutes later, thrust pens into everyone's hands, and instructed us to perform a set of actions.
6) Twice I attempted to add an idea to the discussions (go with the flow, you know), in both cases the discussion continued around me, I was unable to tell if anyone had heard me speak.
7) Once or twice I validated the idea of another person, in these cases others made eye contact with me and seemed to hear what I said. 
8) At the conclusion of the task (which went just fine), several members of the group seemed delighted at the organic way agreement was reached, while I mused quietly that I didn't feel I had participated in any sort of agreement, more that I was on the periphery of a whirlwind, unseen and mostly confused.

So you might be able to imagine my predicament.  I was sitting in this group of talented professionals, most of whom seemed to be perfectly delighted with our process, and I was not delighted.  Here is what was running through my mind:

1.  Why was I unsatisfied with a process which had lead to a satisfactory result?
2.  Why was I (seemingly) the only person who felt perplexed by the group process?
3.  Was I actually being ignored in the group, or was this merely my perception?
4.  Should I speak up, or spend more time thinking about these questions?
5.  Was the benefit of speaking up worth the costs of disrupting the sense of group cohesion?
6.  Was I in fact the only one who was out of sorts, or were there others who felt as I did?

It probably goes without saying that having these questions burning in your chest is far from pleasant.  So I compromised by mentioning a few of these observations and making a request that we look into decision making processes as a team.  It wasn't exactly fun, but that's learning through trauma, right?

More on this process later.  Much to learn, and much to share.

Leadership and Secret Societies

Where do leaders gather?  Where do they come together to let their hair down (figuratively) and talk about the joys and struggles of life and work?

Apparently, they form little clubs where they can feel exclusive.  The secret societies of leadership.  How do I know?  I'm being inducted into two of them right now.

Now, the word "secret society" can be misleading.  I'm not talking about some kind of creepy skull and bones society with dark capes and chanting.   The "secret societies" I speak of operate publicly under the mantle of private clubs, leadership development programs, and business associations. But these groups have a number of common features.

1. You must be invited and/or pass a rigorous screening process.
2. You must follow a set of initiation rituals.
3. There is a focus on "membership" as a sacred thing, with the "in crowd" being a position of privilege and power due to their association.
4. There is a mixture of "work" (business) and "non-work" (recreation) activities.  Alcohol is typically the gateway between these two aspects of membership.

So why am I joining secret societies?  I was invited to check them out, and I was impressed by the interesting people that I met in each situation.   Nothing wrong with that, right?  Certainly there *are* some interesting conversations about work and leadership that occur in these places. And I always enjoy learning from and with interesting human beings.

I continue to feel a sense of trepidation however.  While the ego-stroking and "wow, aren't we special" factor in these gatherings may initially feel pleasant, when I am walking back to my car I'm a bit disgusted with the whole thing.  Am I so shallow that I get a special member card and I feel better about myself?  Do I even want to create a sense of identity that includes being part of the "in crowd?"   That has never been part of who I am before, and I don't sit easy with the idea.

In short, I'm keenly aware of the difference between BEING a wonderful person and FEELING wonderful because you're part of a special club.  I don't ever want to be the kind of leader who mistakes the second thing for the first - ever.

So I plan to keep my sense of uneasiness with this new world of name-dropping, wine-tasting and back-slapping.  There are some great people who live in that world, and I look forward to being in community with them.  But as for the general feel of that community?  I shy away from the arrogance of it.  That may offend people, but I can only be honest about how I feel.

In short, don't tell me about the power of your "good old boys (and girls)" network.  Talk to me about the power of your actions, the strength of your principles, and the passion behind your values.

Now that is something worth listening to.

Business Lunches: It's not about the Food

When it comes to understanding someone's character, the "little things" can tell you a great deal, don't you think?

It's not a coincidence that a lot of business relationships are cemented over dinner.  You learn a lot about someone by seeing how they treat the waitstaff or other customer service personnel.  While effusive praise may not be called for every time your water glass is filled, it's my observation that graciousness at the table extends easily into the workplace.  When someone is rude or dismissive to a waiter or waitress, it can be a big red flag.

About a year ago I had lunch with an executive and friend, and was suprised when he offered no tip to the young man who served us when he was unable to offer a special appetizer at no extra cost.  After the waiter explained apologetically that the company no longer allowed such substitutions, my friend was incensed, and he glared at the waiter for some minutes and expressed his strong disapproval.   While I understood the frustration (I suppose), I didn't think that berating the waitstaff was a reasonable response to a management decision at the restaurant.  I filed this situation away for future reference.  Do I still enjoy my friend?  Of course!  Would I willingly take on a consulting project with him?  I'd have to think about it.

Of course it's not only dining out that can give you clues to character.  Here are some other places that it tends to shine through:

1) How do they relate to people that they disagree with?
2) How do they speak of people who are not present?
3) How do they handle it when they make an error, or cause offense?
4) How do they respond to praise?  Achievement?
5) How do they respond to the mistakes of others?

When we eat out with our clients or friends, play a round of golf with our customers, or enjoy a chat over coffee, what we are really doing is learning about what kind of a human being is behind the coffee cup or putter.  There is a wealth of information available for us if we care to look for it.

As for today, I find myself wondering what my actions say about my character!  I'll be thinking about that this week.  If you found today's post interesting, I invite you to do the same.

What the Stock Market has to Teach Us about Life

I remember hearing once (I don't remember where) that you can chart the rise and fall of the stock markets not by looking at any sort of quantitative data by simply by falling the rise and fall of human emotion.  Financial markets swell on hope and optimism and crash on fear and worry.

So when it comes to your life today, is your stock rising or falling?

You've probably heard the maxim "buy low, sell high" which means that if you have the courage to make a good investment while others are running away, you will be rewarded with profit.

When it comes to your life are you investing in yourself even in times of worry or fear?

Today is a reminder to me to keep moving forward even when the world itself seems to be fixed in position.  Winners prosper because they keep working hard and taking prudent risks while others are hiding under the bed waiting for the sun to shine.

Down market?  Down economy?

Let's shrug together and charge the nearest mountain.

What kind of workforce are we raising?

Usually I like to offer solutions on this blog, but today I have only questions and concerns to write about.

I went to the Woodland Park Zoo today (Sunday) with my husband and our friends Barbara and Tom.  And like most zoos, there were some areas where warnings were posted.

"Do not tap on the Glass."

"Quiet Please."

"Noise Disturbs the Animals."

I was taken aback by the number of kids who were banging on the glass, repeatedly kicking the chain link fence, yelling at the animals in the enclosure.  For every one parent who gently shushed their kids, there were about seven who did not.  In some cases, the parents encouraged the rude behavior.

Before you label me as a shrill child-hater, let it be understood that I realize that kids are in a period of learning.   They cry, they have tantrums, and they have difficult moments.  What bothered me in this case was not the children themselves, but the seeming indifference of the parents to basic rule-following and politeness.

All around me I hear organizational leaders talking about the "entitlement" of the youngest generation entering the workforce.  If entitlement is a worry, I wonder at what we'll experience in another twenty years as these kids come into adulthood.  In my own family, I've seen how indifferent and inconsistent parenting has lead to a life of crime for a young man.   In my work in the correctional system, I've heard experts talk about how the real "work" of reducing prison numbers starts in the nursery.

Are there examples of outstanding parenting at work?  Of course.  And it's not one careless afternoon at the zoo that will make or break a young person's life.  However as a workforce development consultant, I'm keenly aware that the skills I teach in the workplace are largely related to communication, relating with others, and getting along.  These are life skills, and they start in our experiences as young children.   We can all get better at these skills, but it helps to start with solid values of respect and consideration for others.

So on the one hand perhaps I could thank the parents at the zoo this morning for raising a future generation of workers who will undoubtedly send business my way.  But I don't think that such an attitude serves anyone. 

I look at these small examples of kids without guidance, and I worry about the state of our labor force and economy fifteen to twenty years in the future.  What kind of workforce are we raising?  To every leader who is also a parent, there is an opportunity to make a difference for good or ill.

My apologies if today's post had a hint of rant-y-ness to it.  I just had to get this off my chest.

Victims, Rescuers, and Aggressors: The Roles that We Play

One model of looking at conflict is called the "drama triangle" or "conflict triangle" and it talks about how we often fit into roles that allow the conflict to perpetuate.   I've read about this triangle in plenty of places, but I can't seem to find the original source.  If you happen to know, I'd love to hear so I can credit them here.

In the Conflict Triangle, there are three Roles:

The Victim -  Who feels beaten up, demeaned, and put upon.

The Aggressor - Who is unkind to the victim.

The Rescuer - Who tries to save the victim from the Aggressor.

Most of us have a natural place we tend to rest in this triangle.  For me, it's the rescuer, always wanting to smooth things over.  But don't get complacent and assume that the rescuer is the "best" role to have.  Each person in this triangle creates a dynamic that allows the conflict to continue.  (Note: I'm not talking about cases of abuse or violence here, just simple conflict.)

Here is an example from real life.  I once worked with two managers (one reported to the other) and they were caught in a Rescuer-Victim cycle.  Every time the junior manager felt maligned by anyone (his team, another manager, etc) the senior manager would jump in to soothe feelings and offer protection.   In this case, there was a dependency between the two, where neither was able to break free of the roles and this dynamic continued.

So here are some questions to think about:

1.  What role in the conflict triangle do you tend to play?

2.  Are you able to see how your participation in the triangle can allow the conflict to continue?

3.  Which one of the roles do you naturally shy away from?

4.  How might you help others break the triangle's cycle when you see it in action?

I like this model because it is simple to understand and can be easily related to many of life's situations.  I hope you enjoyed reading about the conflict triangle.  If you've been able to put this to use in your work, tell us about it!

A side note for those following the move:  My move to downtown Seattle has thus far been a success. I can walk to many of my meetings!  My clients are only 5-10 minutes away by car!  There is espresso in my building!  A person could get used to this.

Gratitude: It's Valium for Control Freaks

I think I discovered a secret weapon last week.  I was getting ready to walk into a client meeting, as usual overprepared and full of energy, and also as usual feeling my stomach tighten in knots.  The whole thing about not knowing what would happen was as usual, hiking up my stress level.

Now, this whole thing about stressing about things you can't control is a theme with me.  Absent a functioning psychic hotline, no one can fully predict life's events.  And yet for those of us (finger pointing squarely at me) who like to have control, new situations and the pressure to perform can be overwhelming.

Speaking of control, one of my favorite quotes (I can't find the source) is:

"There are a lot of things in life you can't control.  Take the things you can control and bring them to perfection."

Another famous quote about control is the Serenity prayer, attributed to St. Francis of Assisi:

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

What these ideas have in common is the notion that in surrendering what we cannot control, and taking action on what we can, we are doing what is possible.

But what happens when you keep focusing on what cannot be controlled?  What happens when general performance pressure is eating at you?

Try gratitude.  Focus on what you are grateful for in the situation you are stressing out about.  With me, I'm grateful for a thriving business, the opportunity to do what I do best every day, the chance to meet and work with amazing people, and for a family that supports me as I do all of these things.

So remember how I started this post by talking about how I was all stressed out prior to a client visit?  In an odd moment of grace, I stopped worrying about what I couldn't control, and started thinking about what I had to be grateful for.  Then I walked through the double doors and had a great meeting.

Gratitude.  Who would have guessed it?   The next time you're "wigging out" about work or life, give it a try.

Dysfunctional Teams: A Higher View

Sometimes when it comes to dysfunctional teams, it is difficult to see the forest for the trees.

We bemoan our coworker who uses every meeting as his own personal soapbox for complaints, but we never clarify the purposes of our meetings.

We grit our teeth at the manager who thinks only about her own department but we never talk about connecting individual departments to a higher vision.

We get frustrated at meetings that devolve into gripe sessions, but there are no mechanisms for people to take action on valid complaints.

We get annoyed when decisions fall apart as soon as they are uttered, but we never decide how decisions are made in a group setting.

For every issue in a team, there are usually two markers.  The immediate pain (the symptom), and the higher level issue which is unaddressed.

Today I encourage you to look beyond the symptoms and to a higher level of thinking.  What unmet need allows your symptoms to continue?

Figure that out, and you're on the path to real change.

Sometimes, Data is not Enough: Challenges in Decision Making

It was a three day weekend here in the states, and I spent most of it walking through downtown Seattle looking at apartment buildings.  My husband brought his GPS with him, and we figure that we logged something like 15 miles over two days of city walking.  The purpose of our trip was to gather data on apartments to decide which one we might like to live in.

For a couple years now, we've been gradually getting fed up with owning a home, and the required maintenance.  We have a lovely home, in a really great part of the suburbs, but those things don't much mitigate the fact that the lawn needs to be mowed, that trees occasionally fall down (sometimes on the house itself), that the gutters need to be cleaned, and that any home of moderate size requires weekends spent in upkeep.

We're not house people.  (Yes, we've figured this out eight years after buying a house.)

So as an experiment, we're moving into the city for a few months to see if how well we like the lifestyle.  Not to mention how we'll deal with the challenge of cutting our living space by 3/4.

So we looked at probably a dozen different buildings, peeked in closets, looked at the views (both wonderful and lackluster) and met plenty of leasing agents.  My husband, ever the engineer, devised a clever spreadsheet to keep track of all of the information on amenities and bus routes. 

So do we have data?  Yes.  We're swimming in data!  And it has been somewhat helpful. After all, we've narrowed down our choices to 3 apartment buildings.  Each of them has pros and cons. 

So what happens when you've been able to narrow down a choice but you are having difficulty making that final decision?  You leap of course.  You make your best informed guess, you leap, and you measure the results.

What else can you do?  There is no magic wand.  You hope for a good decision, but in the final analysis you can always learn from a bad one, right?  All significant change comes with an element of risk, in work or in house hunting.

Over the next month, we'll be making the leap into a city apartment downtown.  I'll let you know how it goes.  If you've made the change from country mouse to city mouse, I'd be curious to hear what you thought of the change.

Whatever you are deciding this week, good luck with the leap.