The Enlightened Manager

Working with Big Egos (Part I)

One of the challenges a lot of my clients face is working with people who have a "big ego."  People are often described as egotistical when they have any combination of the following personality traits:

1.  Confidence or Assertiveness.
2.  Direct Communication Style.
3.  Lack of Tact.
4.  Strong Opinions.
5.  Poor Listening Skills.
6.  Arrogance.  (I am right, you are wrong.)

Plenty of people have these traits, some more than others.  While strong opinions alone don't create an appearance of egotism, throw in a lack of tact and you have a combination that drives some people crazy.

Understanding People with "Big Egos."

1) Oftentimes a person that you find "egotistical" may simply have a different communication style than you do.  Before you judge someone too harshly, ask yourself what specifically they are doing that drives you crazy.   If you can pinpoint the problem, you can talk to them about it reasonably.

"Joe, I've noticed that every time I make a comment in our meeting you dismiss me without listening.  What's going on?"

2) Recognize the context.  We expect our CEOs, Executives, Doctors, Software Architects, and other typical "ego" types to be confident and decisive.   When confidence and independent decision making is part of a job expectation, sometimes people don't strengthen those other skills (listening, affirming, questioning) as much as they need to.  Have some understanding that to an extent, people are shaped by the work that they do.

"We expect our VP to make the tough decisions, but we also want her to listen to us and get our views.  Our request may be reasonable, but I can see that it might be challenging to be both confident and questioning at the same time."

3) Many smart people rely too heavily upon their own perspective.   This comes from a few places.  First, many "smart" people feel like they can't ask others for help.  "I'm a top engineer, I should be able to figure this out on my own!"   Secondly, when someone has a good track record of decision making and they are successful in life, they may be less likely to check themselves against other viewpoints.

"Mike is very driven and self-reliant.  That makes it tougher for him to ask for help and other views sometimes."

4) Some of the toughest "egos" come from people who have very negative or limiting beliefs about themselves or others.  We all engage in "self talk" and it can be tough to change these patterns.  

"I asked Janice why she slammed her manager's idea so harshly in that meeting, and she said that it's her job to encourage a healthy debate.  So in her mind what she did was appropriate.  I need to talk to her about how we can encourage debate without putting people down."

"I asked Pat why he went over my head with that proposal, and he said that he would have looked foolish if he asked for my permission.   I need to help him understand that asking for other views will make him a stronger leader, not a weaker one."

These insights will help you begin to understand some of what is driving those "big egos" at work.  My next post will talk about strategies for working with people with these traits.

Motivating in Difficult Times

Hello Enlightened Managers!

I'm back in town after my week off, and coming back to the blog is like coming back to an old friend.  I had all these plans to blog from my cell phone while I was vacationing, but I only managed one post.  I imagine you'll forgive me. :)

This week I wanted to talk about a subject I've touched on before - how to motivate staff and keep people productive in "difficult times."  (Yes, I know that "these difficult economic times" has become a cliche.)   But I think that the fear and despair that many people are feeling remain real. 

Tips for Motivating in Difficult Times:

1) Acknowledge hardships and uncertainties, but don't dwell on them.
2) Acknowledge that while we can't control external factors (like the economy), we can control our response to those conditions.
3) Give examples of what you can control.  (We can decide to stay productive.  We can decide to focus on customer service.  We can decide to use our downtime to innovate.  We can decide to.....)
4) Hold a Lemonade Drive - Hold a contest to turn economic lemons into lemonade.  Demand may be lower, but that frees up some time.  What is the best use of that time?  Gather ideas.  Serve lemonade. 
5) Seize the Advantage - Many companies are cutting back, perhaps in a way that will hamper them when things turn.  Engage staff in preparing the business to be faster and better than the competition when demand recovers.  Emerge stronger, not weaker.
6) Reward Innovation -  Did someone come up with a smart idea to save the company 10K?  Let a little of those savings flow into their pocket.
7) Keep the Faith - By continuing to work hard, believe in the company, and talk about your own tenacity in the face of obstacles, you will give others permission to do the same.

Let's keep our hearts hopeful and our minds sharp.  This recession is going to topple some giants and elevate some smart but lesser known companies up to the top of the pack. 

I plan to be scrambling up, not down.  How about you? :)  Getting your team on board is the first step.

Thoughts on Planning vs. Flexibility

Greetings enlightened managers! I'm writing you tonight from lovely San Francisco, after a day of walking the waterfront and cruising on the bay. If you're from this area, I congratulate you on having such a diverse and welcoming city. If like me, you're not, I encourage you to come visit.

When it comes to vacations, I'm not a detailed planner. I book the hotel, the flight, and pick up a guidebook the day before I leave. I also get recommendations from friends on what to check out. Then I just let things unfold.

Yes - I have clearly defined goals for vacation like I do for any aspect of life. But I manage to achieve them 'in the moment' by keeping those goals in my mind. (Goals for SF: Enjoy time with hubby, sleep a lot, eat great vegan food, walk a lot, relax.)

I've been thinking that the 'business half' of my brain could learn something from my low key vacation planning. When it comes to work I tend to overplan and overstress. And while there are some benefits to this, I also think that a flexible plan can sometimes be smarter than a tightly woven agenda.

So when I get back to the office, I hope that business-me can learn a few tricks from vacation-me. How about you? Or perhaps your work and vacation styles aren't as different as mine.

Wherever you are in the world, have a great day - and don't plan too hard. ;)

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We've been recognized!

The Enlightened Manager is now part of the Leadership reading room at Alltop.  If you haven't checked them out yet, they have a very interesting assortment of leadership blog feeds.  Click here to go right to the leadership page.

It's nice to see a "human edited" directory of online resources.  Also, if you have a favorite leadership blog (even your own) feel free to make a note of it in the comments section. 

The Business Benefits of "Loving Thy Enemy."

Our beliefs drive our behavior.  Our behavior drives our effectiveness.  Our effectiveness influences our success in work, the quality of relationships we have, and even our ability to earn a living. 

So if you want to change your life, it makes sense to start by examining your beliefs.   Beliefs are powerful.  Sometimes we need to take an old belief and dust it off, re-examine it, and decide if it needs a change.

In my coaching work, I've run up a conversation that goes like this with many different clients:

"So, I need to learn how to manipulate them so that they feel good about doing what I want them to do."

It isn't always stated that plainly, but for many people, getting others to change what they do is manipulation.  "Being tactful" sounds like way of making people feel good about being manipulated. 

What a horrible way to think about the world!  Here is where I think it comes from:

Sometimes we believe that we are right, and that other people are too stupid to see that we are right.   Sometimes we believe that we are better than others.  When we try to change someone from a position of mental superiority, it feels like manipulation.  "I am right, they are wrong.  They must admit I am right."

What is the alternative?  To empathize with and care about the people you disagree with.  To view them as a person with good intentions who just happens to see the world differently.  Then you can approach them without manipulation.   When you care about someone, you come to them because you want to HELP, not because you want to "get something" out of them.

"I am right and they are wrong." turns into "We see it differently, but it's worth talking about because I respect them and I want to help."

Approaching people (even our enemies!) with a perspective of helpfulness and service is far more empowering than approaching someone feeling superior or manipulative. 

To be of service to those we disagree with, we must start by accepting that others generally have good intentions, and that they probably believe they are doing the right thing.  If you can accept this, you can build respectful relationships even in an atmosphere of conflict.  Those relationships are the platforms upon which problems can be solved.

When you have an "enemy" at work, get to know them.  See them as a human being.  Look for areas where you do agree.  Respect and honor them.  Over time, what begins as hostility can ripen into a deep professional friendship - one where differences become a source of learning instead of acrimony.

Why manipulate an adversary when you can help out a friend?

It sounds fluffy perhaps, but I've seen it work wonders in my own life, and in the lives of my clients.  Try it.  I'd love to hear how you're putting this principle to work and what the results are.

Life as "A Practice" for Leadership

I remember being a kid and thinking it was funny to hear a lawyer say they operated "a practice."   In the US, consultants, doctors, and attorneys talk about operating "a practice" instead of a business.  Over time, I've realized that I like this idea of a "consulting practice" because it reflects a different way of thinking about work - one that can benefit you as a leader.

When we practice a new skill, we are seeking to get better.  When we work, we are fulfilling an expectation, or expending effort.   So when you think about your journey as a leader, is leadership something you practice, or is it just work?

I like to think of my "work" as something that I practice intentionally every day.  Each new challenge or bump in the road becomes another opportunity to get better, to get smarter and accumulate experiences.

Every interaction is a chance to practice our compassion and clarity.
Every customer is a chance to practice delivering heartfelt service.
Every project is a chance to practice good decision making, clear communication, and wise actions.

This translates into our home life too.

Every time we see our spouse it's a chance to practice making our love visible.
Every time a friend calls it's a chance to practice listening and being listened to.

So if life can be seen as a practice, how can we make it even more meaningful?  By finding others to share the experiences with.  As humans, we are social animals.  Our relationships give us motivation and context for a meaningful life.

That is why learning communities are so important.  Do the leaders in your organization have a "place" where you can all connect about your experiences and learn together?  Most companies lack a learning community for leadership.   And yet the simple act of bringing leaders together to talk and learn is so powerful.  It doesn't need to take a lot of time or money either.  But in our lifelong practice of leadership, we can go so much further in community with others.

So if you are reading this today, I encourage you to think about your individual practice of leadership.  Does thinking of your development as a "daily practice" change the way you think about leadership?  Do you have a community of leaders to learn with, and learn from?

If not, let's find ways to build them.  It's something I'm thinking about.  More on this later!

Cheri

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Reflections on Work-Life Balance - Learning how to Relax Again

Enlightened Managers - I've been doing some serious thinking about work life balance.  If this is a topic that you're also thinking on, I hope you find these musings helpful.  Especially if you, like me, have aspects of a "type A" or "overachiever" personality.

A strange thing has happened to me recently.   Life has been kind of easy.   Boring even.  I found myself with free evenings several nights a week, and weekends open for activities.  And my immediate reaction was to freak out a little.  How could I fill up that time?

As my business has grown stronger, I haven't needed to work thirteen hour days to keep the engine humming.  Business is coming my way pretty regularly.  I don't take it for granted, and I'm not complacent, but I'm not burning the midnight oil the way I used to.  This should be a good thing, but at first it didn't feel very good.

What felt like a nice break at first turned into an annoyance after a few weeks.  I began to look for a new hobby.   Should I learn martial arts?  Find a volunteer job?  My brain was swimming with possibilities.  My "type A" nature found downtime deeply unsatifying.  TV was temporarily distracting, but left me feeling drained and pathetic.  I love to read, but there are only so many times I can read my favorite books or get new ones, no matter how engaging they are.  Exercise is great but, doesn't take more than 30-45 minutes.

No doubt those of you who are NOT "type A" will find this diatribe rather wierd or whiny.  Since when should relaxing be hard?  It sounds weird, but I've been out of practice with this relaxation thing.

After talking to some wise friends about the problem and spending some quality time bored out of my mind, things finally clicked for me.  I realized that there was this "space" in my life that I was free to use creatively.  All those "little things" I've been trying to find time for now have a home.  My spanish lessons, playing around with my guitar, writing fiction, hanging out with friends, goofing off with my husband, and so on.  This is not productive time, but it is renewing.  A brand new "creative center" to my life, where I can pursue personal projects, relax into the lack of structure, and rediscover parts of myself that I've been neglecting.

So for me, work-life balance has been about this notion of a "creative center" for my life.   Unstructured time for discovery, without an agenda.

Do you have a creative center in your life?  A quiet space for yourself, where you are free from constraints and expectations?  If not, I encourage you to think about finding a small slice of time for yourself every day.  It's not a concept that has come easily to me, but it's one that I'm learning to appreciate.

And another pleasant surprise - when I have time for myself, I am better at what I do.  Not a shocking revelation to others perhaps, but there are certainly times when I'm a slow learner.  (smile)

The costs of employee turnover, and turnover rates by industry.

An interesting post this month from Ann Bares at the Compensation Force blog.  You can see 2008 turnover rates by industry by clicking here.  

What is a turnover rate? To put it simply, if you have an average of 100 employees in a year, and 20 of them leave the company in a year, you have a 20% annual turnover rate.

In my own research on the cost of turnover, I found numbers ranging from 60% of the person's annual pay on the lower end (service jobs, entry level) to costs of 400% annual salary (nurses, hard to fill manager jobs).

Yes, these estimates indicate that a nurse making 60K a year can quit and cost her company up to 240K in total turnover costs!

These numbers can be hard to pinpoint, since you're looking at not only direct recruiting costs (job ads, recruiters, time for interviews) but also lost productivity during the time with no employee as well as ramp up time.  Then of course you have training, on boarding costs, relocation, paying temp staff, costs of burnout for those filling in, etc.  I expect that most of the costs associated with turnover come from lost productivity.

The moral of the story is that turnover is incredibly expensive.   While a certain amount of turnover is unavoidable (deaths, relocations, a small number of "bad hires") much of your turnover can be avoided through:

1) Hiring the right people.  (Not just for the job, but for your culture.)
2) Developing strong managers.  (People leave managers more often than they leave jobs.)
3) Offering Growth Opportunities (Both learning opportunities and career advancement.)
4) Engaging people.  (Give them a voice, connect them to your mission at an emotional level.)
5) Compensate them fairly and adequately for your market.

Are you doing these five things, and doing them well?  If so, congratulate yourself on a job well done.  If not, get active!  There is a lot of money to be saved with tackling these issues.

Is your company losing money due to unwanted turnover?  Cheri Baker helps organizations pinpoint the root causes of turnover and take decisive action to reduce HR costs.  Contact her for a free inital consultation.