The Enlightened Manager

The Smart Manager's Guide to Social Media.

Twitter.  Facebook.  Spoke. Linked In.  It's enough to make your head spin, right?  I've made use of a lot of these tools for both fun and to promote my consulting practice, and so I've picked up a few tips that I'd like to share with you.  There is a ton written about how to use these tools, so I'm not going to go there.  But a few thoughts for those of you dipping your toe into social media.

1) Never post anything that you wouldn't want written on a postcard and mailed to your boss, future employer, client, or customer.  Yes, that means no racy photos, no commenting on rude jokes, and no attacks.  Everything you write is public.  Even if you don't "friend" your boss, these things have a way of getting around. 

2) Related to #1, PLEASE don't use these tools to complain about your job or other people.  When your company has to think about layoffs or promotions, your griping can only hurt you.  Your profile and history can become a kind of resume, and yes, potential employers ARE looking you up.

3) Make use of privacy settings.  While they are not a guarantee, you can lock your profile down on facebook to avoid having non-friends view it.  This can be a good idea.

4) Don't be pressured into signing up for things you don't want to sign up for.  Many times you end up giving away a measure of your information and privacy for participation.  It's OK to say no.  Read the user policies.

5) Limit your time.   There is something addictive in these tools, especially Twitter and Facebook which can provide "instant" information on the people you are interested in.  Avoid letting it take away your productive hours.  For example, I've begun using Twitter, but I limit it to about 3 minutes each morning. 

6) Have a strategy.   Do you want to use social media for work or personal life?  Both?  That is OK, but be clear about your intentions. 

7) Be selective.  Individuals have varying standards for who constitutes a good "connection" in social media, so it is perfectly acceptable to say "no thank you" to friend requests.  It is polite to say "Thanks for the invitation, but I use Facebook only for... (close friends, family, etc...)"  Likewise, don't be offended if your requests are not accepted.

8) If you have employees, don't ask to connect with them on social sites, although connecting on Linked In (which is the most professional of the group) may be OK.  Your employees may be pressured to say yes if you ask to be their "frend" online, which is not a good thing.  Besides, maintaining that line between work and home is harder when your boss is all "up in your business."

9) Tell your friends that you'd prefer your profile reflect well upon you professionally.  That means no cussing, no strange photos, and keep most personal communications in private mode.  While most employers won't be phased to see you plan to attend a Yankees game, they might judge your commentary on how many beers you can drink before halftime.

Have fun, but be careful out there! I love the way social media has given me new ways to build relationships both personally and professionally.  But like any communication channel, there is both good and bad depending upon how you use it.

Cheri Baker can be found on Twitter (cheribaker), Linked In, and Facebook.

The Devastating Consequences of an "At Will" Firing.

I got a call this week from a manager I know who was shocked to get called into a meeting with his boss last week and to be summarily fired from his job of six years.  No warnings.  No documentation.  And worst of all?  No reason. 

"This is an "At Will" state" he was told, "We don't need to give you a reason."  Then he was walked to his desk so he could pack up his belongings in full view of his team.  Then he was stripped of his badge and marched out the front door.

I'm always flabbergasted when a company makes a mistake like this.  Not only can you say it's deeply disrespectful to fire someone with no reason given, it's also incredibly damaging to the organization.  Here are some real life examples from this situation:

1. Other managers in the company have reacted with fear.  "If this happened to him, why can't it happen to me?  Will I be next?  Should I start looking?"  The grapevine is buzzing.

2. Some other managers in the company reacted with outrage.  They have begun speaking loudly about the lack of integrity of the leaders involved, as well as HR.  Reputations are being ruined, and trust is eroding.

3. The message being perceived by staff and management is "Be on notice everyone, you are disposable.  Once we're tired of you, you're yesterday's trash."

Now keep in mind, that there probably is a reason why this person was let go.  It may have been a very valid reason.  I'm not saying that the people who did the firing are bad, or bad intentioned.   But what is undeniable is that there is no "get out of jail free card" when it comes to terminations, especially for a long-term manager.  Whenever a termination is handled in this way, it hurts the company in all sorts of subtle but damaging ways.  I can imagine that the trust destroyed in this incident is going to take a lot of years to repair.

Enlightened Leaders - I hope you'll take this story as a reminder of how important it is to be aboveboard and respectful with the people you are letting go.  It isn't easy to fire someone, but do it badly, and the backlash can be terrible.  It is possible to let someone go without this kind of trauma.  We can do better. I know we can.

Employee Motivation: Rethinking Maslow

Leaders,

I'm doing some work this week to prepare for new workshops on the subject of unlocking employee motivation.  So while I'm working on those concepts, I figured I'd share some of what I'm thinking and see if you have any feedback to offer.

When I took leadership classes in high school and college, there was a big focus on Maslow's Hierarchy of needs.  You can read about the hierarchy here, but in a nutshell the model says that human needs are satisfied in a certain order.  For example, you probably are not focused on living up to your potential when you are hungry or frightened.

What I'm discovering however, in my work with dysfunctional and extraordinary teams, is that Maslow's model is missing something.  I often work with teams that include people who are struggling in life outside of work.  People with very modest incomes raising kids on their own, for example.  People with medical challenges, or issues of substance abuse in the home.   If we take Maslow's hierarchy as gospel, it would be hard to imagine anyone in these situations being able to reach their potential or 'self actualize.'

But here is the kicker - some people who are struggling with issues of survival and belonging in the home environment are still able to reach their potential in the workplace.  You don't need to have a perfect home life to make a success of yourself at work.  And once you find that success at work, it often can lead to better income, more stability, etc.  So sometimes you can turn the pyramid on it's head a little.

The way that we can unlock motivation, even in people who are struggling in life, is to create an environment where people can connect to purpose and meaning.  It's like the oncology nurses I worked with who told me that despite the challenges of the job, they derived much purpose and meaning from "giving people more time" with loved ones.  Where heart and meaning can thrive, motivation occurs naturally.

A good example of this at work is Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" which chronicles Frankl's stay in a Nazi concentration camp.  If someone can find purpose and meaning under those conditions, can find motivation under those conditions, it is nothing to expect that we can inspire authentic motivation even when the conditions under Maslow's pyramid have not yet been satisfied.

There are a lot of "levers" you can adjust to influence human motivation.  Some, like pay and benefits, offer only limited impacts after a certain level.  Others, like connecting people to a higher purpose, have big impacts even in difficult environments.  Which levers are you moving?  How much impact are you getting from those efforts?

Just a few thoughts as I prepare for my upcoming workshop on Motivation.  If you have any feedback or thoughts on this subject, as always I welcome them.

Another thought for today: What higher purpose motivates you?  (In life and in work?)

The Art of Enabling Others to Act

Good Morning Enlightened Leaders,

Today's post is a little story about something I learned this year while participating in the Leadership Tomorrow program in Seattle.  The program takes about 80 so called "up and coming" leaders and puts them through 9 months of learning opportunities in the area of community leadership.  The program uses the book "The Leadership Challenge" by Kouzes and Posner as the central text.  For more information on LT, click here.

In this book there are a set of "leadership behaviors" that participants are encouraged to adopt.  Each individual selects a behavior or two to work on during the program.  For me, choosing a behavior was easy.  The thing I chose to work on was "Enabling Others to Act."

Are you a Type A personality?  Do you feel a need to control the outcomes?  Do you get nervous when things are not proceeding in a manner that meets your standards?  Do you step in and "take over" because you want to ensure things get done, and on time?  If any of these things sound familiar, you and I may have something in common.  These are some of my issues, and they are why I have a hard time "enabling others to act" sometimes. 

So I entered this program with an intention that I would enable others to act, and that is what I did.  I didn't volunteer for a single project manager role, and I didn't automatically step in every time I saw a gap.  Instead, I left space there, and allowed others to step in and take responsibility.

The result?  A lower stress program with better outcomes.  Ultimately a need for control rests upon a combination of high standards and low trust.  So this year, I learned even better how to trust and let go.  Also the importance of an excellent team.  When your teams are outstanding (as mine were) it's easier to trust and let go.

So I find myself being better at enabling others to act, and I'm enjoying that learning.  What will you learn this year?   Even if you have no interest in programs like Leadership Tomorrow, you could do worse than read the Leadership Challenge, or pick a leadership behavior to work on, and see how things change for the better.

Happy Monday to Y'all out there.

Upcoming Workshops (Seattle Area)

Hi All,

I'll be doing some speaking this summer/fall in the Seattle Area.  Here is a preview of things to come:

August 18th, 2009 - "The 10 Myths of Dysfunctional Workplaces"
Skyline Rotary - Seattle.  $20/pp includes lunch.  Contact me to sign up.

August 19th, 2009 - "Change Management for Energy Professionals"
Private Event.

August 26th, 2009  -Unlocking Employee Motivation"
Columbia Tower Club - Seattle.  $20/pp includes breakfast. Contact me to sign up.

September 18th, 2009 - "Management Coaching Skills for HR"
South King County HR Association.  Website

October 23rd, 2009 - Healing Dysfunctional Teams"
Details Pending- Bellevue

Interested in doing a talk or brown bag lunch at your office?  Let's talk about it.

The Cult of Victimhood

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 

Eleanor Roosevelt said that, and it's something I've been thinking a lot about lately.  Perhaps it is because I've been hearing so many stories about people blaming their own choices on someone else, or on circumstance.

"If only my CEO would.... I could...."
"I wouldn't have to sneak around if only....."
"If things were not so hard I wouldn't have to resort to...."
"If only my boss wasn't such a jerk, I wouldn't have to..."

Yes, it is true that other people can make our lives more difficult.  And yes, it is also true that sometimes in life the deck is stacked against us.  But we're not victims.  We can still choose to act with respect and integrity, even when it isn't easy.

That's leadership.

It's OK in our society to blame behavior on someone else.  Homeowners in crisis blame the mortgage companies for loaning them too much money.  Mortgage companies blame the financial analysts for being too greedy.  Financial analysts blame homeowners for taking on too much risk.  

We're all human and we're going to screw up now and again. But it seems more popular to be the victim of someone else's error than to own up for our part of the problem.  When you play the role of Victim, you are surrendering your power to someone else.  "I am this way because they made it so."

Let's take back our power leaders.  We are in charge of our own choices.  Even when those choices are not ideal, we can still take responsibility for acting with integrity.

Just had to get that off my chest. :)

Coping with Malicious Rumors, Part II

In the previous post in this series we covered how to identify the source of a malicious rumor in the workplace.  Next, let's look at how to approach the situation.

Once you have identified the source of the rumor, it is time to approach them personally.  Most petty rumor-mongers will back down once confronted, but there are no guarantees.  Some strategies:

Strategy One:  Let them lie, then let them off the hook.

When someone has done something terrible to you, such as spreading a rumor that you have a drug problem, it is fairly likely that they will lie about it.  Sometimes this can work to your advantage.

"John - I wanted to ask you something, but it's kind of embarrassing...."

"I've been hearing that you've been going around telling people I have a drug problem, but I find it really hard to believe you'd do something like that to me....."

(The other person responds with denials, a red face, demands to know your "source.")

"If you say it's not true I'll leave it at that.  But if you hear anyone else spreading that rumor, will you tell them it's wrong?"

Pros/Cons: The downside of this strategy is that by letting the person off the hook you may feel like you're not getting justice.  But it can be a very powerful strategy for the kind of people who spread rumors then get embarrassed that they were caught.  By confronting them, they'll be embarrassed.  Because you let them off the hook, they won't feel cornered.  For many people, this strategy will stop the rumors.

Strategy Two: Direct Confrontation.

"John - we need to talk."

"I understand that you've been telling people I have a drug problem.   I've heard this from two different people who heard you say so in the staff meeting."

(defensiveness, or denials)

"So you're telling me that you never said this?  And that the others are lying?  Why would they lie to me?  What motive would they have to do so?"

"I wasn't there.  But let me be clear, I won't tolerate these kinds of rumors, no matter who is saying them.  I have not taken this matter up with my boss (or HR, or an attorney) YET, but I may have to if this persists.  But I really hope that won't be required, I hope you understand."

Pros/Cons:  This strategy can be risky, as a cornered rumor-monger can behave in unpredictable ways.  It's also necessary that you use a tone which is clear and concerned but in no way threatening or intimidating physically.  The benefit of this approach is that you are outlining what actions you will take if the person continues to lie about you.

Strategy Three:  Retreat with Integrity

In some situations, you might simply be stuck.  This can happen when the source of the lies is a very powerful person, such as your boss, a board member, or the CEO.  When someone has the control over your livelihood and they won't stop lying about you, the best thing you can do may be to leave with your integrity intact.

These situations don't happen often, but when the power differential is working against you, you may need to walk away.  Avoid getting stuck in someone else's game, or playing one-upsmanship.  If you do, you may become tarred with the same brush you hoped to avoid.

Pros/Cons:  On the down side, you may be coping with a loss of a job you love, and a feeling of defeat.   On the plus side, you'll retain your integrity by using the only bit of power you have, the power to leave with your head held high, and to say "I won't put up with this indignity."

Strategy Four: Do Nothing

Pros/Cons: If you do nothing, there is a bare chance that the rumors may dissipate, especially if they are so contrary to your character that no one gives them credence.  On the downside, silence can be seen as assent, and the rumors may flourish.  Sometimes it's appropriate to "do nothing" for a little while to see what happens, before picking a more direct strategy.

In conclusion, malicious rumors are damaging and difficult to cope with.  Evaluate your options and choose wisely.  Remember that while this may be a situation, you can continue to act with dignity and respect, and that no one can influence your behavior without your consent.

Can You Keep a Secret? Thoughts on Confidentiality at Work

(Malicious Rumors Part II will be up soon.)

Enlightened Managers,

We know that healthy teams communicate well - enabling valid data to flow freely from person to person, and checking in on assumptions before acting on them.  But what happens when someone wants to tell you a secret?  Or vent?

Even worse, they want you to promise to keep a secret without telling you what it is about.  So you say yes, and then perhaps feel uncomfortable about what they've told you, or you say no and they walk away.  It's an uneasy feeling.

As a coach and consultant, I'm a professional secret keeper.  People pour their troubles in my ear, and I never tell without permission.  Even on this blog as I write about my experiences, I change the facts slightly to maintain privacy.  Yes, I maintain the truth of the situation being highlighted, but you can bet that the personal details and examples have been modified a bit to maintain privacy.  I'm open about my experiences as a coach, but never open about who I am talking about unless they give permission.  Reader, I think you will understand this kind of editing, and why I do it.

So what do you do when someone comes asking to share their burdens with you?   There are a few different approaches that people use.

Be a Mirror:  Listen, and then share back your observations with the speaker. Once you've done that, let it all go.  Don't feel responsible for any of it, once you've reflected it back.  They "bounced it off" of you.

Be a Bucket:  Take in everything you are told and hold it.  Mull it over.  Perhaps even worry about it.  But you promised to keep a secret, so you just let it fester and you feel responsible.  You are "keeping" the secret and feeling powerless about it.

Be a Leaky Bucket:  Take in what you are told, but you feel so bad about having a secret that you "leak" it to someone else you trust.

Be a Funnel:  Listen, and then redirect the person to the appropriate channel.  "I think you should take your concerns right to Jane.  She'll want to hear this."  

Be a Teddy Bear:  Offer comfort, but nothing else.  "That sounds terrible." you might say.  They'll feel better for a while.

Be an Advice Giver:  Offer them a suggestion based upon what they said.

Be a Coach:  Ask the person questions to help them think through what they've shared and come to a good conclusion.

Be an Open Book:  Decline to keep secrets.   "I prefer not to promise confidentiality unless you can tell me what this is about."

All of these techniques have pros and cons, although I'd recommend avoiding the "Leaky Bucket" approach lest you be untrustworthy.   Just something to think about.  If you find one technique difficult (the bucket) try another one (the mirror) and see how it feels.

Organizational Politics: Coping with Malicious Rumors (Part I)

There have been a handful of times that I've worked with a leader who is coping with malicious rumors in the workplace.  They can be infuriating, embarassing, and even career-limiting.  

"Someone came up to me and asked why I keep sending hate mail to Sharon on her Myspace page.  I'm not even on Myspace!"

"Everyone is saying that I slept with my former assistant.  This is going to kill my chances for promotion, and it's completely untrue!"

"One of my employees asked me what I did last weekend.  I told her that I was gardening.  She said that others claimed I was in rehab.  That is a lie. I am so angry!"

Whenever you are the target of a malicious rumor, the immediate reaction is often hurt, anger, and a desire to lash out.  And yet acting on these feelings can make you seem defensive, not the best strategy for putting things back on an even keel.

Begin by Tracking Down the Source, Gently:

1. Express your surprise or shock, and state the truth briefly.  Be direct, but don't elaborate to the point of defensiveness.

"Wow, I'm shocked to hear that.  That rumor is completely false.  I can't believe that someone would spread that around."

2. Express your desire to get at the root of things, and why it matters to you.

"I need to figure out where this is coming from.  I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but this rumor definitely could hurt my career."

3. Gently ask for the source.

"Where did you hear this?"

Note: People may be understandably resistant to get involved, even when they told you about the rumor.  There are a few ways to cope with this. 

• Try to keep a level head and speak calmly.
• Tell them that you won't be yelling at anyone, but you do need to get this "misunderstanding" cleared up.
• Appeal to their empathy.  "Put yourself in my shoes - I really need to deal with this."
• Appeal to their reasonableness.  "Do you really need to protect someone who would spread this kind of rumor?  You're doing nothing wrong by letting me clear things up."
• If they still won't budge, offer them anonyminity.  "I won't say where I heard it."  This is less desirable, but better than nothing.

4. Sleep on it.

• Give yourself some time to get a handle on your reaction.  Going in to the confrontation "hot" won't help you.
• Ask yourself if there are any perception issues that could have contributed to the rumor.  Scrutinize your behavior and past statements. 
• Find an ally.  When you do talk to the source of the rumor, you'll want someone to know what you are up to.  This could be your HR person, a boss, or even an attorney.  Document what you heard, from whom, and when.  In the case of career- killing rumors, you'll want to have your ducks in a row.  Write it all down, and keep it at home.

In the next post we'll cover how to approach the source of the rumor.

The In Between Place - Coping with the Disorder of Change

Good Morning Enlightened Managers,

I write you today from that messy place that exists between letting go and starting over.  Have you ever noticed how things feel unsettled when you are neither "here" nor "there" but somewhere in between?   Change can be like that. Author William Bridges* calls this state of limbo "the neutral zone" and I like to think of it as "the twilight zone" complete with that creepy music from the TV show.

Bridges encourages us to think of change as consisting of three phases:
- Endings (letting go, grief, denial)
- Neutral Zone (limbo, reordering of priorities, feeling stuck)
- Beginnings (enthusiasm & energy)

When we experience change in the workplace, this model can give us a sense for the phases we go through emotionally.  Today I'd like to write about that middle phase, categorized by the feeling of "why can't this just be OVER already!"

I'm experiencing The Neutral Zone in a very tangible way at the moment.  After a long time feeling conflicted about it (That's Endings!) my hubby and I decided to sell our big suburban house and move into the city.  So right now my house is in complete disarray.  Rooms are half-packed, a contractor has torn parts of our bathroom apart for repairs, and there are big messy stacks of stuff everywhere.  This is a perfect metaphor for organizational change, especially that neutral zone period.

Tips for Coping with Change and being "in between."

1. You can't move forward without letting go of some things that you like, at least temporarily.   I had to make peace with the idea of dismantling the rooms I most enjoy in the house, because you can't keep things the same and change too.  I also had to accept that in moving there would be some things I would miss.  No change comes for free, and this will apply to your company too.  What are you asking people to give up, in order to change?

2. Be prepared for the the emotional roller coaster.  When I look around at my house, I do see a place I want to leave.  But I also see my "first house," the place where I've entertained family and friends, and the environment where I've been through so much, good and bad alike.  During the neutral zone, it is normal to vacillate between excitement at the change, and worry that you're doing the wrong thing.  Be prepared for the emotional roller coaster, but don't let it divert you from your good decisions.

3. Let go of the things that no longer serve you, and be stringent.   We have three piles taking up most of our basement.  "Junk" "Donations" and "Storage."  We're moving from 2500 square feet to about 700.  So you can imagine it means we are keeping very little of what we've accumulated.  When you lead through a change, you may also find yourself taking an internal inventory, abandoning the practices, assumptions, and beliefs that no longer serve you.    This can take some time, more than you'd like.

4. Make necessary repairs to infrastructure.  While you're in the midst of change, it can be a good time to fix things that need fixing.  For us, it's light switches and fireplace doors. For you, it might be revamping your policies or upgrading computers.  I'm not talking about major change initiatives (that might be overwhelming), but instead those little nagging things you haven't got around to.

5. Create "small wins" and enjoy them.  When you feel stuck in the midst of change, it can be great to have small pockets of progress that you can enjoy and use as a motivational boost.  In our case, we emptied out our three smallest rooms (two bathrooms and a laundry room) first, and cleaned them from top to bottom.  When I want to throw my hands up at the enormity of our task, I can look at those rooms and remind myself that progress is being made.

6. Envision the future.  You're in the midst of this change for a reason, right?  Give yourself permission to dream a little.  For us, it's viewing floorplans of the city apartments we'd like to rent.  For you, it might be envisioning how it will feel to come to work when your change is complete.

7. Recognize incremental efforts.   Don't make the mistake of waiting until all the hard work is done to reward people for their actions.  Reward and recognize people during the hard parts, and keep things moving forward.  Every step forward or every box packed is a step in the right direction.  Keep marching, and then suddenly, almost before your realize it, you'll see that things have changed.  Beginnings!

Do you have a tip or suggestion for coping with change?  Leave a comment below.

*For more on this model, read Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes by William Bridges.