OK - I know I'm heading into dangerous territory this week. Whenever you make generalizations about a group, you risk ticking people off. It may not be politically correct, but I'd like to talk about the problems that can arise when you are working in an office that is full of women.
Standard disclaimer here - no two groups are the same, and I'm not implying that all female working groups have these issues. But I have observed personally (and through the stories of my clients) that there are certain patterns that tend to arise when a working group is exclusively female. So let's look at them here:
1) Triangulation- In plain speech, this means talking behind someone's back. I don't like how Miranda handled that call, so I'm going to go tell the boss (or a friend) about it, but not talk to Miranda directly. In bad situations, people call this "back stabbing."
2) Gossip - Sharing personal information about your coworkers, either in a malicious fashion or without their consent. Often times gossip is masked as concern, when the real reason is less polite. For example: "Wow, Suzie had a margarita with lunch and I'm worried about her driving home!"
You can see how gossip can be tricky. If it's true that Suzie's coworker was worried about her this might be an appropriate statement, but what if she wasn't worried; what if she just wanted to get a reaction?
3) Public Displays of Emotion - I'd never say that we should be emotionless at work, but in an all female office, you are more likely to see open weeping than in a mixed office.
4) Cliques - Who is in the "in crowd" this week? Who has been banished to the "out crowd"? I've seen this happen with adult women working in an office setting.
If you work in an all female office, and you experience these problems, what can you do? Here are some tips:
1) Stay focused on your job - what you are there to do.
2) Don't engage in socializing. Be polite, but socializing becomes a vehicle for these bad behaviors.
3) Don't speak about people who are not present. (Don't Triangulate)
4) Don't accept "confidential gossip." If people know you don't want to keep secrets, they won't whisper garbage in your ear.
5) Don't feed the beast. If someone is trying to "get a reaction" out of you to feed their need for attention, simply don't respond. Or respond briefly and return to your work.
I hope this post is helpful, and not too offensive. Not all offices with women are this way, but it's happened often enough that I wanted to bring it up.
By the way, I do hear that "all male workplaces" have their own unique set of dynamics, but I haven't experienced them, and as such I can't speak to it. Perhaps the trick is to have diverse groups with men and women present. It's not that these things won't occur in mixed groups, but the frequency seems to be less.
Any tips/comments on this topic? Share with us below.
Comments